Workshop Reflection

While reading my editor's comments I was thoroughly pleased. I was expecting the editor to tell me that I needed to transition my paragraphs better, but he said other wise. He stated the organization and transitions of the paragraphs were well done. However, he told me that my introduction paragraph needed more work. That I need to capture the reader's interest in the first paragraph, and this doesn't happen until later on. While reading my essay over I can completely see what he is taking about. I was also told to be more descriptive on my surrounding area during my experiences. I think this will add to my paper immensely, both in length and depth.